Saturday, October 4, 2008
I'm just now settling down from what happened two days ago. I've learned things I should have known before and I know things I shouldn't. I don't want 'Kacii' to change too much. I want her to have the same personallity. I still love her. Im still trying to get over the fact that I will never be with her again, but I still want to be there to protect her and hold her and kiss her. I still want to be there. I want to be in her life. I still get jealous but I want to get over that. Its her life. Its not mine. I need to find something or someone in my life just as important as she. It's going to kill me inside and it may never happen but I have to try. I can't let what happened happen again. I can't betray her. I can't betray any of them. I still want her to find me fun. She still needs to be independant though. Things should hopefully be better from now on. I hope they are.